We were up early, on a bus and headed to a lovely park on the outskirts of town. The sun was beaming which made not only for great picture taking but also for meeting people. The Chinese are a friendly group---you've heard me say that so many times, I know. I'll make two posts today -one w/ text and one with photos. We learned that often times one week before a wedding the bride and groom will have professional photographs made. We were fortunate enough to watch a local bride pose for her happy day! On the second entry for today you'll see her. The photos are done in the western style (w/ the white dress) and also in the traditional Chinese style with a red dress. There are so many traditions here which are so fascinating to learn about.....which brings me to an interesting one that we learned of yesterday for newly born children. Yesterday the couple who have now adopted their 3rd daughter from China went shopping on Shamian Island (a fascinating island over the river which has Portugese architecture and many old style buildings. (photos will be forthcoming) When they returned they told us that a local shop & shop owners they have have known for nearly 6 years sent a gift back to us. I was a bit perplexed. I don't know them. They went on to say that when Susie (her American name) learned that there were 4 of us who had adopted from Sui Xi County she got all excited. Little did they know that she was from there. She gave each little girl a red traditional bracelet w/ jade stones knotted in every few inches. It is so precious. Today Brent and I went to the island, found the shop and talked at length with both Susie and her husband. When she saw Hannah Mei she smiled broadly and said, 'Yes, she is from that county.' We sat and drank tea with them. (see photos on entry #2) I asked her many questions about life there. Here is a portion of what she said. Susie told me that SuiXi County is very rural and very economically poor. Most families are peasants/farmers whose lives are filled with much hardship. I told her it was very difficult for me to imagine that anyone would give up a child even if the government had a one child policy. She explained that it isn't just the one child policy that forces such a decision. She said that in rural areas couples will live with both sets of parents. She went on to explain that it would be very common for the wife of a farmer to hide her pregnancy and continue to work in the fields until about the 6th month. Then she would most likely stay inside and not go out. The reason being that she would have the child at home and if it was a boy there would be a festive party and if a girl great sorrow. She said that it would be common shortly after the birth of a baby girl for the mother-in-law to coerce that daughter-in-law to abandon the baby. Her own mother would agree as tensions mounted. She said that the birth mother would be reminded that she could not just be selfish and keep a child that could not help on the farm. From what Susie knew babies would be abandoned in the early hours of the morning. She said that it would not at all have be a surprise to find out that only a few days or even a few hours after the birth of a girl to have the birth mother take a sack of vegetables into the town---acting as if she was selling them at the market only to in reality have the baby in a basket or swaddled up in a blanket. She said that the mother would leave the baby and then walk to the other side of the street or even hide around a corner to see if the child was picked up. Tomorrow Brent along w/ the two teenage boys here with their parents might go to a peasant village about 2 hours from here. Susie said that such a visit would give Brent and idea of what SuiXi County was like. I really want Brent to take photos but I don't really want to take the kids out to a rural area where the sanitation is not good and the food would not be healthy for all of us to eat. Susie said that the homes would be basic brick structures made by the farmer. There would be no indoor plumbing. Cooking would be done w/ wood. The diet would be sweet potato congee (porridge). Anyway, that, I hope makes you feel you were apart of the conversation. I kept thinking as I spoke w/ her...WOW...how amazing in a country this large that I would just 'happen' to run into a women born there.....that she would just 'happen' to send a gift back for Hannah teaching me something of the traditions in Hannah's town....and just 'happen' to be willing to let me 'interview her' if you will. I don't believe that just 'happened'. She wanted to know the exact location where Hannah was left but of course I didn't have the Chinese abandonment document w/ me so I couldn't tell her.
She spoke w/ Hannah in Chinese and Hannah seemed to understand her. Susie asked if she could hold Hannah. I was really touched. She said that not all Chinese people agree with or even understand foreigners adopting Chinese children. She said, however, that she was moved that we foreign people were willing to. She said that life in an orphanage would be so very difficult. The child, if not adopted out, would never really fit into the culture as family names and blood lines are so important to the people here.
I picked out several dresses and coats for Hannah from her shop....some that I will give her when she is older. Susie told me various traditions that a Chinese mother would do for her daughter as she grew older. I'm going to journal my afternoon with Susie for Hannah to read one day when she is older so that if she is interested she will have some idea of the lives of those in Sui Xi County. I was actually sad when it was time to leave her stop. I took address cards she had made and told her I would pass them out to the other families from our group coming on Saturday. She became a link for me to Hannah's past.
Thanks to so many of you who have sent emails saying that you are following this journey. You are all such an important influence on our lives and I want you to touch Hannah with the same intensity that you have mine.
By the way, Hannah is smiling more and more. Today she made eye contact---prolonged eye contact with Brent......steps forward....how wonderful!
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